Donkey Kong 64 is finally coming to Nintendo Swap On-line, a grueling four-and-a-half years after Nintendo first put N64 video games on the service, and a complete yr after Nintendo seemingly inadvertently teased it. This has been met with loads of eyerolling and monkey jokes from the populace as a result of, as everyone knows, Donkey Kong 64 isn’t an excellent sport and is tedious to play in 2026, and nobody of their proper thoughts would decide it up on NSO, proper? No! No, I’m not doing this anymore! Each time I carry up Donkey Kong 64, everybody rushes in to inform me what a horrible sport it’s, and the way I mustn’t, underneath any circumstances, replay it! I’m bored with stiffly nodding alongside and saying, “Sure, it’s unhealthy, however I’ve some nostalgia for it,” till we modify the topic! Donkey Kong 64 is good and I’m not afraid to say it. First off, this bizarre DK64 hatred hasn’t all the time existed. It acquired largely glorious critiques when it launched and was the best-selling sport of 1999, beating even Pokémon Crimson/Blue, in keeping with Circana director Mat Piscatella. It was praised (rightfully!) on the time for its ambition; although it borrowed lots from video games like Tremendous Mario 64 and Banjo-Kazooie, it did so on a scale we hadn’t seen earlier than with the massive-at-the-time DK Isles and all of the secrets and techniques they hid. Individuals beloved its cleverness, too, in each boss battles and puzzles, and its solid of characters was humorous and fairly memorable. A little bit late on this one, however in keeping with Circana’s Retail Monitoring Service, Donkey Kong 64 was the #1 best-selling online game of 1999 within the US market in {dollars}, besting Pokémon Crimson/Blue. In 2000 Donkey Kong 64 ranked sixteenth. US lifetime gross sales of the N64 model exceeded 2.3M models and $130M. — Mat Piscatella (@matpiscatella.bsky.social) 2026-05-28T15:40:10.654Z Donkey Kong 64 is a little bit of a white whale for me. I by no means owned an N64 rising up, however my neighbor did, and we spent numerous weekends passing the controller forwards and backwards attempting to complete it. I used to be the older of the 2 of us and had entry to a printer, so finally I began printing off pages of GameFAQs guides to assist us once we bought caught. We lastly made it to the ultimate struggle in opposition to King Ok. Rool, however my neighbor sadly moved away earlier than we may land the ultimate blow, so I by no means completed the sport. I’ve replayed components of it a number of instances through the years, stopping neither out of boredom nor distress, however all the time as a result of some new sport got here out that I needed to play for work. Most not too long ago, I’ve been mucking round with DK64randomizer.com, having used it to make a very randomized but guaranteed-completable model of Donkey Kong 64 that I’ve dumped a number of completely satisfied hours into already.
For these causes I really feel assured in saying that a number of Donkey Kong 64 holds up higher than anybody offers it credit score for. Its world nonetheless manages to really feel huge even by right this moment’s requirements, partially as a result of it’s so full of puzzles and buttons and switches and bits that I consistently really feel there’s one thing I haven’t explored but. Its characters are pleasant, dripping with persona of their dialogue and animations, and I feel it’s a criminal offense that Lanky, Tiny, and Chunky haven’t appeared in additional issues. The extent designs are so cool: I like the mushroom forest that adjustments relying on whether or not it’s day or evening, and Creepy Fortress’s round construction and a great deal of hidden rooms, and the interconnectedness of the whole lot in Frantic Manufacturing unit. The little sounds the whole lot makes are nice. I like working round and scooping up all of the collectibles. And, certain, I’ll say one thing actually controversial: I feel it’s advantageous to have completely different stuff for every Kong to select up. It will get a little annoying if you happen to’re attempting to 100-percent the sport, however I’ve a number of enjoyable taking Kongs again to beforehand visited ranges and seeing what new secrets and techniques I can open up and what number of extra bananas I can collect. On the identical time, you don’t really want to do this a lot backtracking simply to complete the sport, and anybody claiming you do clearly hasn’t performed it in years. And hey, the DK Rap is a basic, however the precise primary sport theme isn’t any slouch both. I’ll grant you: there are warts. Its jetpack and swimming controls are a catastrophe, however I really feel assured in saying that mainly no sport had good swimming controls in that period, and a number of video games right this moment nonetheless haven’t figured it out but, and as for the jetpack, that’s mainly simply swimming by way of the air anyway. I additionally suppose forcing gamers to endure the unique Donkey Kong and Jetpac as a way to beat the sport is extraordinarily impolite and mustn’t have been finished. I will even enable that among the barrel video games are…irritating. As an example, that beetle you need to race a number of instances? It’s on sight.
It’s advantageous to dislike Donkey Kong 64, and I’ll even concede it’s not some form of all-time nice nor even among the many greatest Donkey Kong video games (shoutout to Tropical Freeze), however it’s not the obvious scar on the face of the Donkey Kong franchise everybody pretends it’s. It was cool throughout its time, and remains to be fairly enjoyable now while you’re not underwater or 100 ft within the air taking pictures peanut pop weapons. As such, as soon as I end the opposite video games I’m in the course of proper now, I will likely be fulfilling the general public oath I’ve taken to lastly beat Donkey Kong 64 now that it’s out on NSO. You will notice me again right here in a number of months and also you guess your bananas, I cannot remorse something I’ve written right here.
